The causes of conflict at work or home are part and parcel of what happens in human dynamics. Unfortunately, most people's most common first response is to avoid conflict.
So, “What is conflict resolution?” is an important question because we have not been taught any conflict management and resolution techniques, so it's normal that we will try to ignore it or end up being unskilled at it.
Reasons for Conflict That Commonly Arise at Work or Home
Conflicts often arise due to various cognitive and emotional traps, many of which operate subconsciously. These traps can intensify disagreements, highlighting why it is important to resolve conflict effectively. To achieve successful conflict resolution, it's essential to address these underlying factors.
Prevailing beliefs about conflict include the following:
Conflict is counterproductive because it hurts people, and you can't work effectively if you're feeling hurt
Conflict is unpleasant and gets in the way of constructive communication
Conflict is toxic - a sign that bad stuff is going down
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How Do You Handle Conflict?
It is important to merge leadership and conflict management to mitigate the risk that these beliefs will result in avoiding open and honest conversations. Open conversations thrive on healthy differences in opinions, which in turn impacts the level of creativity in dialogue and the achievement of goals. Good conflict resolution prevents the unwanted side effects of destructive behaviours that are common when leaders do not handle team conflict.
The damage is caused by unskillful behaviours while there is an absence of conflict management skills, not by the mere presence of unskillful behaviours.
Decades of research indicate that conflict is inevitable due to the differences present in all groups or teams. This is especially true as organisations strive to broaden the diversity in teams.
In their book Systems Inspired Leadership, Marita Fridjhon & Frank Uit de Weerd assert that "Conflict can create negativity and toxicity and, as a result, impact team efficacy". They go on to offer ways that leaders and coaches can support the team in monitoring their behaviours carefully, find a language for what they see, and align on measures to facilitate conflict in a productive way.
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Considering Your Responsibilities as a Leader
CRR Afrika Director Klaus Lombardozzi writes in his blog: "It serves leaders and staff members to invite a different perspective on how to handle conflict. This does not mean:
(1) taking an apathetic or irresponsible stance toward conflict in the workplace and letting it run amok;
(2) allowing unskillful and disrespectful conflict to destroy working relationships; or
(3) making bullying and other forms of diminishing or disrespecting people acceptable.
Instead, the answer to ‘what is conflict resolution’ is about understanding and embracing conflict as a part of creative processes in organisations.
Leadership and conflict management must go hand in hand, and leaders must become skillful in handling team conflict.
Conflict resolution is about a shift acknowledging that conflict is inevitable in human systems, which is very helpful. This shift sets us free to welcome conflict as a signal that something new wants to emerge within the system (whether that system is an entire organisation, a team or a partnership).
How Does Conflict Resolution Work?
This is NOT about encouraging more conflict but becoming more aware and skillful in its presence. We can all benefit from conflict management and resolution techniques. If at home or in the office, your relationships will benefit from it. In addition, taking a systems approach equips you to establish a culture that supports dealing with conflict in creative and helpful ways.
Here Are Some Ideas for How to Do This
Amongst leaders, have a group conversation about “How does a leader handle conflict?”. The aim is to foreground this topic and for leaders to learn from each other.
Craft a new team narrative around conflict. Recognise organisations as complex relationship systems, with conflict as an energetic ally for change.
Give up trying to control teams so as not to have conflict. Allow and handle team conflict effectively.
When conflict arises, learn how to harness its energy to process conflict for the benefit of team members and the team to nurture high performing teams..
Co-create agreements or protocols for working with conflict proactively. Empower teams or departments with this process to enhance open and creative dialogue.,.
Provide learning opportunities such as those provided by the Centre for Right Relationship, CRR Afrika (see below) to leaders, staff and coaches to equip them to adopt a new systems mindset and acquire tools to respond skillfully and creatively when conflict appears.
Polish Your Conflict Resolution Skills
The good news is that there are ways you can work with your team to manage conflict effectively and to grow as a team.
Bringing leadership and conflict management together is an essential step. Having a team member skilled to assist in relationship system coaching is key to this success. Or as a leader you would like to help your teams work more effectively in conflict?
Contact us to discuss your situation and needs in more detail. And let's think together about how CRR Afrika could assist you and your organisation.
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